ALL ABOUT EATING DISORDERS

If someone you love is struggling with an eating disorder, it’s important for them to get help as soon as possible. Encouraging medical treatment and therapy is one of the best things you can do when supporting a loved one with an eating disorder. Also, there are additional ways you can assist their journey to recovery every day as well.

Keep in mind that someone going through an eating disorder may be struggling with other issues, too. Everyone is different, and everyone handles the disorder differently. But, being able to support someone you love through the process can make a big difference in their recovery.

Following are some tips in general, for supporting someone suffering from an eating disorder.

General tips for supporting someone-

• Recognise that you are not to blame.

• Acknowledge to your loved one that they are not to blame.

• Recognise how distressing the illness is for your loved one.

• Educate yourself about eating disorders where you can.

• Ask your loved one how they are feeling and what they are thinking, rather than making assumptions.

• Avoid discussing weight, shape, food, and diets in front of your loved one, and model a balanced relationship with your own food and exercise.

• Remind yourself that things can change and reassure your loved one that recovery is possible.

• Ask your loved one what you can do to help – for example, helping them to stick to regular eating, putting in boundaries following mealtimes, having a space to talk about how they are feeling. Your loved one may respond that you can just “leave them alone” or that you can’t do anything to help, so here it can be helpful to remind them you can hear their distress and how difficult things are, and you are there if they need you.

• Recognise any ‘accommodating or enabling behaviours’ – behaviours that you do to help reduce your loved one’s distress from the eating disorder, for example, cleaning up vomit or cooking different meals for them, but that collude with the disorder and cover up the negative consequences of the behaviours.

Let’s discuss some of these points in detail-

1. Educate Yourself

One of the best things you can do to help a loved one with an eating disorder is to learn more about it. This is a disorder that has its own language, various facts and stats, and some common symptoms. Become familiar with the condition. The more you know about eating disorders, the easier it will be for you to understand what they’re dealing with. This knowledge can give you a totally different approach when it comes to how you support them.

1. Distract Them During Meals

Mealtime can be difficult for someone dealing with an eating disorder. There are several things you can do to help them through everyday meals. First, be sure to eat with them. If possible, cook for them! Make healthy, nutritious meals. Also, avoid making a big deal out of mealtime. If you can distract the individual with other things while you’re having dinner together, it will help to lower their anxiety, making mealtime more enjoyable and less daunting.

1. Respect Their Feelings

While you should encourage a loved one with an eating disorder to seek out treatment, it’s important not to berate them. In other words, avoid constantly telling them what to do and what they can do to get better. Instead, focus on listening to their feelings. Ask how you can help them. An eating disorder usually has many emotional aspects to it. By focusing on those, and not just the physical aspects, you’re more likely to connect and break through with the person who is struggling.

1. Externalising the illness

Externalising the eating disorder – viewing it as separate to your loved one – can empower you to help distance them from the illness and challenge the eating disorder behaviours. This challenge to the eating disorder may lead to your loved one acting out of character, but this is often the illness reacting as it feels threatened. By externalising the illness, you can also help your loved one to recognise their thoughts and behaviours as resulting from the eating disorder. To do this, it can be useful to address the eating disorder as distinct from your loved one.

For example:-

“What did the eating disorder say to make you feel unable to eat your snack?”

“What did the eating disorder say to trick you into purging after your dinner?”

“How does the eating disorder make you feel about yourself?”

Externalising the eating disorder can also help your loved one to feel less like they are being criticised or are to blame: you both recognise that it is the eating disorder. It will not be helpful for everyone. Some people may feel that the eating disorder is part of them, rather than separate, and may struggle with questions such as those above or find them patronizing . It could also feel dismissive of what is going on for the person. If this is the case, it could be helpful to explore this with your loved one and their treatment team, to find a dialogue that works for everyone.

1. Be a Model

Don’t forget to take care of yourself while you’re supporting a loved one with an eating disorder. Model healthy eating habits, exercise, and practice general self-care. You should also focus on traits that don’t have anything to do with physical appearances, like a sense of humor or a kind personality. When the person you care about sees your healthy lifestyle, they can eventually be more comfortable adopting one of their own.