Debugging Common Myths Around Sex- Ketki Kabir

The hymen and virginity:

Although this has been spoken about a lot, many people still believe that the intactness of a woman’s hymen defines her purity. A woman’s sexual history is not the judge of her character or a way to decide her worth—but for now, we’ll purely discuss the biological aspect.

What is the hymen? The hymen is a membrane structure that lies on the opening of the vagina. Hymens are naturally perforated in order to allow vaginal discharge and menstrual blood to flow and there are variations in this structure—some are born without perforations (in which case, perforations are surgically made) while some women are born without a hymen.

Why does the hymen signify ‘purity’? It is a common belief that the hymen is broken during a female’s first sexual intercourse and there are a lot of grey areas in this sentence. One, as aforementioned, some women are born without one. Two, the hymen can tear in multiple ways, strenuous physical activities such as running, swimming can tear the vagina. Three, it is not necessary for the hymen to tear at all! The hymen is elastic in nature, it can easily stretch during sexual intercourse to accommodate the penis and stay intact. And hence the presence or absence of hymen in a woman speaks nothing about her sexual history.

2. Unprotected sex during periods does not cause pregnancy:

Many couples choose to have unprotected sex while the woman is menstruating so that they do not have to use contraceptives. Although this strategy can work on day one to three of her periods as the chances of getting pregnant are nearly zero, but the last days of the period or the days after it are not as safe as many people consider it to be.

Women have the ovulation phase after their periods end—and everyone’s menstrual cycle varies in length. In their ovulation phase, the woman is fertile, the lifespan of her egg being anywhere between 12 - 24 hours. If her cycle is of 28 days, she has 7-8 days before she ovulates after the stoppage of bleeding; but if her cycle length is shorter, say 21 days, ovulation may occur 2-3 days after the periods. The sperm can survive within the female reproductive tract for 3-5 days and in such a case, there are chances that one of the male’s million sperm will fertilize the egg.

Similarly, the position of intercourse (such as while standing) or the medium in which it is performed (water in swimming pools or while showering) does not eliminate the chance of pregnancy. Methods such as “pulling out” (in which men pull out of the vagina before ejaculation) as a contraceptive method is inefficient as some sperms already enter the vagina before ejaculation.

3. Condoms are more of a hassle than a help:

Men all over the globe prefer their partners to stay on contraceptive pills because they don’t trust or enjoy the feel of condoms. In reality, condoms are 98% effective in preventing pregnancy. Condoms are the easiest method of contraceptive—they are single-use, do not require extra maintenance (like remembering to take pills every day) and cause no effects on a man’s health (whereas synthetic hormones pills or implants can cause irregular menstrual bleeding, nausea and mood swings, to name the mildest. Long term use may lead to cancer in females and they cannot be used by older women or those who have underlying medical conditions). Condoms are also the only contraceptive that can prevent the transmission of STIs. Condoms come in one-size, fit almost all penis sizes and they also come in a latex-free formula for men allergic to latex. If your sexual partner is persistent against the use of appropriate contraception and protection, it is always within your rights to say no.